September 19, 2003


Posted by Arcane Gazebo at September 19, 2003 1:52 PM Ladies, gentlemen, me hearties, and scurvy dogs: The President of the United States.

Because the AIDS diagnosis be considered a Davy Jones's Locker sentence, many do not seek treatment. (Gangway!) Almost all who do be turned away. (Aaarrrrhhh!) A doctor in rural South Africa describes 'is frustration. (Aarhh!) He says, "We have no medicines. (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) Many hospitals tell people, ye've got AIDS, we can't help you. (Bloody privateers!) Go home 'n die." In an age o' miraculous medicines, nay person should have t' hear those words (Applause.)

The International Atomic Energy Agency confirmed in the 1990s that Saddam Hussein had an advanced nuclear weapons development program, had a design for a nuclear weapon 'n was workin' on five different methods of enrichin' uranium for a bomb. (Yarrr, more grog, wench!) The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities o' uranium from Africa. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) Our intelligence sources tell us that he has attempted to purchase high-strength aluminum tubes suitable for nuclear weapons production. (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) Saddam Hussein has not credibly explained these activities. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) He clearly has much t' hide. (Yaaarrrr!)

Some have said we must not act until the threat be imminent. (Yarrr, more grog, wench!) Since when have terrorists 'n tyrants announced their intentions, politely puttin' us on notice before they strike? (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) If this threat be permitted to fully 'n suddenly emerge, all actions, all words, 'n all recriminations would come too late. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) Trustin' in the sanity and restraint o' Saddam Hussein be not a strategy, 'n it be not an option. (Shiver me timbers!) (Applause.)
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