September 14, 2003


Posted by Arcane Gazebo at September 14, 2003 10:39 PM So my sample ballot arrived in the mail on Friday. Other counties use these newfangled touch-screen voting systems (of dubious security), but here in Contra Costa we use the good old "blacken the oval that appears next to your choice" method. As a Plastic headline writer noted, "That's no butterfly - that's a Mothra ballot." I was impressed that they were able to fit the sample ballot on a single sheet of paper. Both sides of an 11x17 sheet of paper, but a single sheet nonetheless. (Contra Costa posts the sample ballots on their website, so once they put it up I can link to the pdf.)

Undecided? You can take this quiz which will match a major candidate to your issue positions. It's not perfect, though; it gave me a 99% match to Arianna Huffington. (This is because it was not asking the right questions.) I also had a 100% match to Peter Camejo, the Green party candidate and my choice in 2002 by process of elimination. I wouldn't mind voting for him again, except that splitting the vote in such a crowded and close race is not a particularly good idea, as many Nader-in-2000 voters have figured out by now. This probably means I'm voting for the unimpressive Cruz Bustamante (81% match), unless I change my mind at the last minute and vote for Warren Buffet. Oops, I mean the unimpressive Arnold Schwartzenegger (21% match, apologies to the many out-of-state Arnold fans in my readership).

Going back to Arianna momentarily, she lists on the ballot as her occupation "Author/Columnist/Mother". I wasn't going to vote for her, but then I read on the ballot that she has a functioning uterus! This changes everything! (There's also a "Father" and a "Parent" to be found on the ballot. Why they think voters consider working reproductive organs to be an important qualification for governor, I have no idea.) Disappointingly, Larry Flynt describes himself as a "Publisher" rather than something more colorful. Then there's the guy listed as a "Used Car Dealer". I guess politics is a natural transition for him. And if I get desperate, I can vote for the candidate with the most interesting occupation: Kurt E. "Tachikaze" Rightmyer, the only middleweight sumo wrestler on the ballot.

Or maybe I'll vote for an action star after all. Not Arnold, though - after seeing the Kill Bill trailer, I'm going to write in Uma Thurman. She clearly has what it takes to govern this state: kung fu and samurai swords. Tags:

Thanks to the Ninth Circuit, looks like you'll now have more time to think about it. Thanks for the link to the Kill Bill trailer.

Posted by: Jeremiah Spur | September 15, 2003 12:56 PM


Or make the choice entirely irrelevant, if the delay is as good for Davis as some are suggesting.

Posted by: Arcane Gazebo | September 15, 2003 1:52 PM


I hope Davis does survive the recall effort. His incumbency is about the only chance GWB has to carry CA next year.

Posted by: Jeremiah Spur | September 15, 2003 1:58 PM


As our state continues its downward spiral, Californians will naturally come to the conclusion that four more years of GWB's economic stewardship are just what we need to get back on our feet.

Posted by: Arcane Gazebo | September 15, 2003 2:24 PM


Y'all just need a big whoppin' tax cut to get you back on your feet.

Posted by: Jeremiah Spur | September 15, 2003 2:31 PM


I'm not sure the world's fifth largest economy can handle the sharp corners on that Laffer curve. Might run us right off the road...

Posted by: Arcane Gazebo | September 15, 2003 7:04 PM
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