selection/recall
So my sample ballot arrived in the mail on Friday. Other counties use these newfangled touch-screen voting systems (of
dubious security), but here in Contra Costa we use the good old "blacken the oval that appears next to your choice" method. As a Plastic headline writer noted, "That's no butterfly - that's a
Mothra ballot." I was impressed that they were able to fit the sample ballot on a single sheet of paper. Both sides of an 11x17 sheet of paper, but a single sheet nonetheless. (Contra Costa posts the sample ballots on their website, so once they put it up I can link to the pdf.)
Undecided? You can take
this quiz which will match a major candidate to your issue positions. It's not perfect, though; it gave me a 99% match to Arianna Huffington. (This is because it was not asking the right questions.) I also had a 100% match to Peter Camejo, the Green party candidate and my choice in 2002 by process of elimination. I wouldn't mind voting for him again, except that splitting the vote in such a crowded and close race is not a particularly good idea, as many Nader-in-2000 voters have figured out by now. This probably means I'm voting for the unimpressive Cruz Bustamante (81% match), unless I change my mind at the last minute and vote for Warren Buffet. Oops, I mean the unimpressive Arnold Schwartzenegger (21% match, apologies to the many out-of-state Arnold fans in my readership).
Going back to Arianna momentarily, she lists on the ballot as her occupation "Author/Columnist/Mother". I wasn't going to vote for her, but then I read on the ballot that she has a
functioning uterus! This changes everything! (There's also a "Father" and a "Parent" to be found on the ballot. Why they think voters consider working reproductive organs to be an important qualification for governor, I have no idea.) Disappointingly, Larry Flynt describes himself as a "Publisher" rather than something more colorful. Then there's the guy listed as a "Used Car Dealer". I guess politics is a natural transition for him. And if I get desperate, I can vote for the candidate with the most interesting occupation: Kurt E. "Tachikaze" Rightmyer, the only middleweight sumo wrestler on the ballot.
Or maybe I'll vote for an action star after all. Not Arnold, though - after seeing the
Kill Bill trailer, I'm going to write in Uma Thurman. She clearly has what it takes to govern this state: kung fu and samurai swords.
Posted by Arcane Gazebo at September 14, 2003 10:39 PM | Tags: