October 19, 2003


Posted by Arcane Gazebo at October 19, 2003 5:00 PM Last night I saw Intolerable Cruelty at the theater in Richmond. Now, it's the closest theater to me, and is new and clean with stadium seating and 16 screens. However, judging from the clientele it draws, it must have been built on an ancient Indian burial ground or possibly been the site of Satanic rituals and witch-burnings. (I wouldn't rule out five John Denver Christmas specials, either.)

I've already complained about the parents taking their very young kids to such family films as 28 Days Later and Kill Bill. This was not a problem last night, presumably because young children watching Intolerable Cruelty will merely be bored rather than traumatized. Last night, the problem (besides the guy who kept falling asleep and snoring) was a violation of one of the unwritten rules of cinema etiquette: if the theater is nearly empty, one should not sit down right next to another party. If there are plenty of seats you leave at least a one-seat buffer between you and anyone else, right? Apparently the couple who came in after the opening credits were not familiar with this rule. Also, they were talkers. The sort where one member of the couple felt compelled to explain the implications of every plot development to the other. Which would have been fine if they had been sitting in the back corner rather than right next to me. (I should admit that since I arrived 15 minutes early when no one was in the theater, I took one of the two most centrally located seats, so the one next to me was the obvious choice for anyone who doesn't respect the buffer-seat rule.)

Also, the first preview was for Love Actually, and so annoyingly cute that I would have preferred spending the time listening to a soothing Sonata for Fingernails on a Blackboard in D Minor. (In the future, visiting the concession stand might be a better option.) They pacified me by showing the Return of the King trailer immediately afterwards, but followed that up with Something's Gotta Give. I paid $8.50 for this?

I'm done ranting, but while I'm here I want to link to this guy's hilarious deconstruction of the first three pages of Left Behind. He gets a lot of mileage out of just the first two words. Tags:

THANK YOU for restating the seat-buffer rule. Nothing annoys me more. But here's another one closely linked to that rule: The people who will come into a practically empty theater and sit down DIRECTLY in front of you so you can't put your feet up. UGH.

Petty bitching. It works for me.

Posted by: Tracy Manford | October 22, 2003 12:29 PM
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