January 20, 2004

Arcane Gazebo vs. The State of the Union Address

Posted by Arcane Gazebo at January 20, 2004 7:34 PM So against my better judgement I watched the SOTU on C-SPAN's internet feed. I also kept running commentary. Enjoy...

State of the Union Address

6:13 - Surprised he mentioned the Big Brother-esque airline passenger background checks.

6:17 - "Key provisions of the PATRIOT act are set to expire next year" [applause] Another evil piece of legislation I'm surprised to hear him address (and defend, vigorously, at length!). I thought this was the sort of thing they tried to slip by without anyone noticing.

6:19 - "nukular"

6:25 - "nukular"

6:25 - "And one reason is clear..." ...that Iraq couldn't disarm if they didn't have any WMD in the first place?

6:26 - "nukular"

6:26 - "nukular"

6:27 - Here comes the 9/11 card. Hey, maybe we can get back to this war on terror now that we're finished creating a big nest of terrorists in Iraq.

6:30 - Translation: "I have no use for due process."

6:30 - "weapons of mass destruction related program activities" Wow. His speechwriters couldn't come up with anything more compact? (I guess "nothing" wasn't an option.)

6:34 - "God"

6:35 - Oh good, we're going to "confront the allies of terror" in the Middle East. I look forward to seeing new pressure put on Saudi Arabia.

6:38 - One half of the chamber doesn't seem too impressed with our economic growth.

6:40 - Or education.

6:42 - Expand Advanced Placement programs in low-income schools: hey, that could actually be good.

6:43 - "Unless you act, the death tax will come back to life..." ...in 2010. With a $3 million exemption. Oh, the horror.

6:51 - A veto threat? That might carry more weight if he'd ever vetoed anything in three years.

6:54 - Here comes the marriage stuff.

6:55 - Nope, he's talking about drugs (the illegal kind now). Drug testing, to be precise. "We have to violate the Bill of Rights because we love you."

6:56 - Steroid use in professional sports? Who cares?

6:58 - Ok, here's the marriage stuff.

6:58 - Sounds to me like clear support for the evil Federal Marriage Amendment. If the "will of the people" is opposed to same-sex marriage (and if he thinks this he hasn't seen the polls out of Massachusetts), a constitutional amendment is the one thing he shouldn't need. (And where else could these "will of the people", "activist judges" arguments have been employed in the past? Segregation comes to mind.)

6:59 - "God"

7:05 - "God"

Final count:

"nukular" - 4
"God" - 3

Democratic Response

[Pelosi]

7:17 - Translation: "We do too have credibility on national security."

7:18 - Pelosi's not a terribly good speaker.

7:19 - She also can't decide how she wants to pronounce "Iraq".

7:20 - "nuclear" Ah, I feel better already.

7:21 - I'm happy to hear her attacking the real shortcomings in our national security policy. But will it stick?

[Daschle]

7:23 - They expected Bush to talk about space. Oops.

7:26 - He talks as if he's perpetually saying "Don't worry, I'm your friend". It's a little creepy after a while.

7:28 - The "Bush Tax" meme continues to spread.

7:28 - "When I was driving around South Dakota this summer..." ...I didn't hit any motorcyclists.

7:30 - Oh, he's done. I spaced out when he started on pensions. (Not that it isn't an important issue.)

Well, that whole experience was... really unenlightening. I should have gone with the "watch Buffy" plan after all. Tags:
Comments



My crew and I played the SOTU drinking game down here in Houston...we were at Two Rows in Rice Village and ended up recuiting half of the bar to play with us....At first I thought Bush sounded stupid because I was drunk...Interestingly enough, upon reading the SOTU this morning, I don't think he would have sounded any smarter had I been sober...

...maybe he was drunk...

Posted by: Tracy Manford | January 21, 2004 5:41 AM

Power's not the only thing these guys are abusing

That would explain the highlight of the speech, him knocking over Cheney's water (which I somehow missed).

For that matter, before he starts testing schoolkids for drugs maybe he should check his speechwriting staff. I mean, is steroid use really such a matter of great national import? What's next, a press conference to discuss Pete Rose?

Posted by: Arcane Gazebo | January 21, 2004 9:43 AM

Re: Power's not the only thing these guys are abusing

You mean you missed the whole section on Kobe Bryant? You also must have been in the bathroom when he was discussing Michael Jackson...

Wow, too bad for you! :)

Posted by: Tracy Manford | January 21, 2004 10:46 AM
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