April 10, 2005

Ah, who cares about those other things?

Posted by Arcane Gazebo at April 10, 2005 11:09 PM

Ordinarily, when I hear people griping about some beloved icon of their collective childhoods being altered by some uncaring corporation, I'm not inclined to join in. I don't tend to nostalgia of this sort, a usually irrational emotional attachment to the way things were. But: this is different. This is the Cookie Monster cutting back on the cookies and singing that "a cookie is a sometimes food".

This is beyond a "reworking" of the character: it's the destruction of the very soul of the character. What makes the Cookie Monster monstrous, after all, is his unrestrained and insatiable appetite for cookies. C is for cookie, and that's good enough for him. It's inconceivable that this proud beast would submit to such a bourgeois notion as a balanced diet. We all remember the way he would tear into a plate of cookies at the conclusion of his song, how he declared that even a doughnut—a doughnut!—is not as good as a cookie.

One wonders what tortures the health food lobby inflicted upon the mighty Monster to make him submit. Cage him up and feed him only (c is for) celery? Point out that a rice cake with a bite taken out of it also looks like a C? A Snuffleupagus head in his bed?

I proudly sang "C is for Cookie" at dinner every Tuesday during my years in Lloyd House. I did so to celebrate the irrepressible cookie-loving spirit of the Cookie Monster that is the basis of his appeal to young children everywhere. Now, Arcane Gazebo demands that Cookie Monster be freed from his diet, that he be allowed to pursue his cookie passion not just sometimes, but anytime. Anything less is simply cruel.

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Comments

Okay. I guess I do want to know this.

Did you REALLY sing "C is for Cookie" every Tuesday night at dinner at Lloyd.

And if the answer is, "yes," the follow-up question is:

Why?

Posted by: Dad | April 11, 2005 11:16 AM

I can't truthfully claim every Tuesday night, because I didn't come up with this innovation until my sophomore year. And occasionally the audience would be less receptive, and in the face of flying rolls and threats of floating I'd decide to spare them.

Why? Because Tuesday was cookie and ice cream night, of course.

Also: SPRINKLES.

Posted by: Arcane Gazebo | April 11, 2005 12:10 PM

Okay. I'll try to get my mind around that concept.

Posted by: Dad | April 11, 2005 12:30 PM

Damn straight on SPRINKLES! Damnit. None of that jimmies bullshit.

Posted by: Mason | April 11, 2005 11:06 PM

I hear that next up, Oscar the Grouch is going to find some low-rent housing to fight the homeless problem in America.

Posted by: Josh | April 12, 2005 12:44 AM

Ha ha! "A garbage can is a sometimes home."

Posted by: Arcane Gazebo | April 12, 2005 12:02 PM

That is a sentiment emphatically not shared by your all's mother.

Posted by: Dad | April 12, 2005 1:36 PM

I have a good solution for the homeless problem, but I'll forgo it because I'll end up in prison for a while if I try to implement it.

Posted by: Mason | April 12, 2005 5:46 PM

Funny there Mason, you managed to inadvertantly stumble on another classic stop-gap measure for the homeless problem... prison!

Posted by: Lemming | April 12, 2005 6:45 PM

I've always felt that Arm the Homeless is an elegant and innovative solution.

Posted by: Arcane Gazebo | April 12, 2005 9:22 PM

I believe that George Carlin suggested that if we're looking for broad expanses of bright, beautiful land to give build housing on for the homeless, but is right now serving no good purpose in the world, that we should look towards golf courses.

Posted by: Josh | April 12, 2005 11:42 PM

Just wanted to add, yes, the Gazebo really did sing that song nearly every tuesday. Usually with a bunch of us singing along too. :) I still have fond memories of the strange looks our table would get while singing the cookie song.

SPRINKLES!

Posted by: Zifnab | April 13, 2005 2:56 AM

Tim: I actually had a somewhat more permanent solution in mind...

Posted by: Mason | April 13, 2005 6:33 PM
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