July 22, 2005

Friday iPod Divination: Chaotic Edition

Posted by Arcane Gazebo at July 22, 2005 2:54 PM

Since the last one worked out so well, it's time for another edition of iPod Tarot. My iPod has been giving me unsolicited advice anyway by serving up certain songs (or even Certain Songs) on shuffle; clearly this is its natural calling.

Technically speaking, one is supposed to ask a question of the iPod oracle before proceeding. Since I got back from Italy, I've settled back into the lab routine and everything has seemed very orderly and low-intensity. I feel like I need more chaos in my life. O all-knowing iPod, where can I find my own Shuffle Songs button?

  1. The Covering: The Reindeer Section, You Are My Joy
  2. The Crossing: Franz Ferdinand, Auf Achse
  3. The Crown: The Duke Spirit, Cuts Across The Land
  4. The Root: Belle & Sebastian, Dog On Wheels
  5. The Past: Sleater-Kinney, Banned from the End of the World
  6. The Future: Caribou, Subotnick
  7. The Questioner: Seelenluft, I Can See Clearly Now
  8. The House: The Libertines, Don't Be Shy
  9. The Inside: Sleater-Kinney, Jumpers
  10. The Outcome: Ladytron, ladybird
(The interpretation key is here.)

A very literal interpretation of this would be pretty grim, given the subject matter of ladybird and (especially) Jumpers, so something metaphorical is in order. The iPod is saying that I need to be more social (um, duh), but is acknowledging that this is not as easy as just saying "Don't be shy", that jumping into a social situation can be as terrifying as jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge (the subject of Jumpers). As for the outcome, the iPod is warning me that some heartbreak is inevitable (but I did ask for disorder and variety, not contentment). Or it's suggesting that I'll turn into a manipulative bastard breaking hearts left and right like the character in the song, but that seems pretty dubious.

As usual, the comments are open to alternate interpretations or your own iPod readings.

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Although my life is always chaotic (just because my research area is), I can't resist stuff like this, so let's see what the iPod oracle [iTunes, technically, as my iPod is in the other room] has in store (there is, indeed, a spoon):

1. The Covering: Sweet Sensation, _Love Child_

2. The Crossing: Phil Collins, _You Can't Hurry Love_

3. The Crown: Icehouse, _Electric Blue (12" version)_

4. The Root: Heaven 17, _Penthouse & Pavement (12" version)_

5. The Past: Monaco, _What Do You Want From Me (Instrumental)_

6. The Future: Mariah Carey, _If It's Over_

7. The Questioner: Isao Tomita (playing Wagner), _The Ride_

8. The House: Traveling Wilburys, _Margarita_

9. The Inside: Alphaville, _Summer In Berlin_

10. The Outcome: Depeche Mode, _Personal Jesus_

Getting Love Child (which is a really awesome 80s cover of the old Supremes song, by the way---I think the original was the Supremes; it was one of those Motown girl bands) as The Covering is not a particularly auspiscious start.

The Crossing is also an 80s rendition of a Motown girl band song (was this original by The Supremes as well?). This is clearly a bad sign too (although not as severe as the first one). Bad Oracle, Bad Oracle. You better start behaving.

The Crown is another love song---about loving somebody and having them not being aware of it and the result being a stab in the heart because they're seeing through that person. And this is the _best_ that can be achieved? Damn, I'm getting royally screwed here. (This song is specifically about dashed hopes.)

I don't actually know the lyrics to Penthouse & Pavement, so who knows about my root. (Maybe that's causing all the problems the Oracle forsees for me?) The Past gives me yet another song about love gone sour. Of course, if this is going away, maybe it's not so bad to get this here. Then again, the song in The Future is also about love gone sour? (What is wrong with this Oracle?!? It's not like there's ever been anything to go sour.)

Maybe The Questioner reveals all. My attitude is to just play The Ride and all my former lovers be damned! (Maybe they weren't showering enough or something.)

The House: Well, this is one about trying to express oneself to someone one loves.

The Inside: This is telling me I should move to Germany---apparently right now.

The outcome is apparently going to be that I will become far more religious than I am now (which is roughly -666 on a 1 to 10 scale). Not only that but it will apparently be with Jesus, despite the fact that all my ancestors are Jewish. That's just what a bad love life does to people, I suppose.

So this trip to the Oracle was apparently even more negative than the last one (which, if I recall, had _The Cockroach That Ate Cincinatti_ as The Root). There are strong correlations, though. As much as I love 80s music (very much indeed!), it was known for its depressing songs (and other depressing songs), as Tim and I once pointed out in our "Mason and Tim Show's All Depressing and Cyncial Song Special: Valentine's Day Edition," which I will remind the attentive reader was performed while two recently-borned couples were having fun right outside the studio in Upper Crotch. (I believe that our RA commented on our poor taste that day. :) )

Posted by: Mason | July 22, 2005 11:58 PM
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