July 20, 2006

And I feel fine

Posted by Arcane Gazebo at July 20, 2006 5:13 PM

I was pretty sure this was going on, but Harper's actually mined some apocalypse-oriented message boards for quotes from crazy people who are ecstatic about the war in Lebanon, because it is apparently a clear sign that the Rapture is approaching. Not the band, which would be equally fearsome, but that peculiar item in some flavors of Christian eschatology where God kills off spirits away all the believers and children, leaving the rest of us poor bastards to endure the tribulations that follow. To prevent us from making smartass remarks about the potential upsides of all the hardcore conservative Christians vanishing from the Earth, this version of the end-times calls for demons and plagues and rivers of blood for the infidels. So you can see why it's something to be joyful about.

But wait a minute, exactly what prophecy is being fulfilled here? Basically, the book of Revelation makes the bold statement that there will be violent conflict in the Middle East. So a war breaks out involving Israel, something which has happened approximately every fifteen minutes since the dawn of time—surely this is a sign of the apocalypse! Really, these guys should at least wait for Jesus to appear on a tortilla (or, um, God on an alligator) before they break out the Rapture champagne sparkling cider.

Tags: Apocalypse, Christianity, Religion, World
Comments

As Remmy said in "The Big Easy," watch out fo' th' gator, baby.

Posted by: JSpur | July 20, 2006 5:54 PM

Maybe that was just nature being dyslexic?

Go Team Infidel! (And I don't mean the Infocom game...)

As another sign of the apocolypse, I think Sloan Annex is sinking into the Pacific Ocean as I write this. (You should have seen the color of that liquid that was leaking out of the first-floor ceiling...)

Posted by: Mason | July 20, 2006 5:56 PM
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